Yum-Yum! Check Out The DC’s New Themed Nights!
This semester, the DC is serving up innovation for breakfast, lunch, and dinner! Continue reading Yum-Yum! Check Out The DC’s New Themed Nights!
Haverford Consensus
Victory: Journalism is Dead
At long last, it’s finally happened: The Consensus has overtaken the once-respected Clerk in Instagram followers, the surest indicator of a newspaper’s legitimacy. Journalism is dead. And we’re here for it. Amidst all the bad things going on in the world, Haverford students are smart enough to know where to get the truth they want to hear: How to show up absolutely shloshed to the … Continue reading Victory: Journalism is Dead
A Haverbro’s May Day
Here we observe the Haverbro in the wild. He’s far from home, having ventured from his safe environs to search Bryn Mawr for food, garlic knots in particular. He has no idea what he’s ventured into. First, he finds himself confronted by the parade through campus. Utterly confounded, he wonders if Pride has always taken place in April. Furthermore, he believed Pride normally had something … Continue reading A Haverbro’s May Day
Potential Haverfest Performers Leaked
Rage Against the Woke Machine This conservative Rage Against The Machine cover band is here to rock! And by rock, I mean not rock the boat. This band is convinced that Rage Against The Machine is a conservative band rebelling against the liberal establishment. They’ll blow you away with such hits as “Killing in the Name of (tax cuts)” and “(Wall Street) Bulls on Parade” … Continue reading Potential Haverfest Performers Leaked
Nicole Kidman Mourns Pet Kangaroo
Naur! Nicole Kidman’s pet kangaroo, Mate, has died this week. The actress and Australian posted the news to Instagram Tuesday, bidding Mate a final “G’day” and reassuring fans that he “lived a good life” and “he’s in a better place.” The Consensus is doubtful that heaven is a better place for a kangaroo than the Australian Outback, but we have been unable to reach Mate … Continue reading Nicole Kidman Mourns Pet Kangaroo
Wendy Worner and Kamala Harris to switch jobs, Freaky Friday style
BREAKING: Following slumping polling numbers, the Biden reelection campaign has decided to drop Kamala Harris from the ticket. Washington insiders speculated that she might be replaced with Pete Buttigieg, Gretchen Whitmer, or Gavin Newsom. In a shocking turn of events, however, President Biden gave the nod to Wendy Worner, President of Haverford College. Experts cited her particular expertise in Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion as a … Continue reading Wendy Worner and Kamala Harris to switch jobs, Freaky Friday style
The Haverrice Purity Test
How possessed are you by the Spirit of Haverford? Continue reading The Haverrice Purity Test
The DOs and DON’Ts of Plenary
Yes, it’s that time of the year. Plenary is finally upon us! As we all know, etiquette is key, so we at the Consensus have compiled a definitive list of Plenary rules so you don’t humiliate yourself like you did last semester. Continue reading The DOs and DON’Ts of Plenary
