Lloyd Quiet. Too Quiet.
The wind rustles the grass. The lights slowly turn off. It’s peaceful for now. Continue reading Lloyd Quiet. Too Quiet.
The wind rustles the grass. The lights slowly turn off. It’s peaceful for now. Continue reading Lloyd Quiet. Too Quiet.
Everyone knows that Haverford students have a 70% chance of failing all their exams and getting kicked out of college. Luckily, The Consensus has compiled a savvy list of lucrative careers for students to turn to in case everything goes to shit. Best of luck on finals. Continue reading 5 Backup Careers for If You Fail All Your Exams
The light has gone out of my life. There is no more Passion fruit, Orange, and Guava juice at the Dining Center. I am left bereft of its taste. While before my days eating food had been filled with whimsy, joy, and ecstatic bliss, now I simply chew in misery. Continue reading The Light Has Gone Out of My Life
On Wednesday, head of Health Services and Wellness Guru Kathy McGovern announced to the nation that Health Services will soon be demolished and completely rebuilt as a combination KFC/Taco Bell. Continue reading HUZZAH! Health Services to be Replaced With Combination KFC/Taco Bell
BREAKING: The rats have aligned.
The Rat Union☭ of Lunt and the Rat Society™ of Comfort have signed a pact, allying against the United Rat RepublicⓇ of Jones. This pact has drastic consequences for the rat and human populations of the North Dorms, and spells a dire future for all of Haverford College. Continue reading The Rats Align
National treasure and famed monkey lover Dame Maggie Smith is left devastated this week after authorities arrested her beloved capuchin, Union Jack. Continue reading Authorities Seize Maggie Smith’s Monkey
Most cross-country teams have weird traditions. At Haverford, the weird traditions have a cross-country team. Continue reading Breaking News: The Cross-Country Team is Just a Cult
If you’re one of the 96 people signed up for Astronomical Ideas, this list is for you! Continue reading 7 C-Domain Classes You Should’ve Signed Up For You Dipshit
“I would like to thank the Haverford College Democrats for handing me this easy Senate win,” said John Fetterman (53M), with a grateful thumbs up protruding from his right shoulder. “If it was not for this organization, there is absolutely no way I could have kicked Mehmet Oz back to New Jersey. They provided such a strong, critical support in one of the most contested … Continue reading John Fetterman Thanks the Haverford College Democrats for Senate Win
Who let the dogs out? And who trained them to be so comforting? That’s right: the barefoot guy across from you in Lutnick Library just touched your leg with his toes. Continue reading Moral Support Win! The Barefoot Guy Across From You In Lutnick Just Touched You With His Toes