Talladega, Monte Carlo…the BiCo? Haverford and Bryn Mawr Colleges have jointly unveiled a racing course on nearby streets that will be raced on by their very own Blue Busses.

“This is great to hear,” said longtime Blue Bus driver Robert Welton. “I’ve actually been practicing for this every day when I drive students.”

Unfortunately, the BiCo has been unable to obtain permission from local authorities, so Dean McKnight has urged students to “Keep this on the down-low.” Without clearance, there will still be cars on the route when the buses race, but McKnight remained unfazed: “It’ll just raise the stakes.”

Although an official opening date remains elusive, promotional events have already been scheduled. On April 20th, the Blue Busses will do burnouts on Founder’s Green, and the IDEA office, in collaboration with Jeff Foxworthy, will host a talk entitled “Racing Without Erasing Race: How to Watch NASCAR while Honoring Redneck Culture.” This talk will be given by Kid Rock, who has been hired as an assistant professor of Peace, Justice and Human Rights.

Some citizens have objected to these plans, citing concerns that the Blue Busses Tokyo Drifting through intersections could cause traffic issues. Other people remain unconcerned, because “It would be really fucking sick.”