Last Thursday, a Consensus correspondent reported that I can’t, despite my best efforts, find my OneCard. Upon bringing the issue to the attention of the editorial board, the Consensus immediately launched an investigation into whether anyone has seen it. The inquiry accelerated after an internal review revealed that I totally just saw it, like it was literally just here I’m not even kidding.

Though the search has so far been unsuccessful, our reporters found it would really help me out if you could let your friends know I’m looking for it. The dilemma is ongoing, and if you let me into the library right now I’d really appreciate it because I have to print something and my class starts in like five minutes.

Until this crisis is resolved, the Consensus recommends you swipe me in at the DC, ‘cause you’re on the full meal plan and you know you’re never gonna use all those swipes, right?