Let’s face it: Wendy’s Worner is nothing if not a drug-addled orgiastic rager, the likes of which would put Burning Man to shame. But, as everyone knows, this bacchanalian adventure is always BYOE (Bring Your Own Everything) which makes the pregame essential. Lucky for you, we here at The Consensus have compiled a sure-fire list of tips and tricks to make your next Wendy’s Worner a mid-afternoon to remember!

Tip #1: Come Early

Conventional wisdom will tell you that it’s gauche to arrive at a pregame any earlier than half an hour late, and in most cases, that’s right. However, pregaming Wendy’s Worner is no typical event. You’re gonna wanna show up as early as possible to assure that you can drink until you’re obliterated. Remember: officially speaking, Wendy’s Worner is a dry event, so the pregame is where most of the real magic happens.

Tip #2: Chasers are for Cowards

If you’re not choking down shots of Everclear like they’re Hi-C juice boxes then you’re doing it wrong, friend-o! What’s that, you don’t like the taste of alcohol? Too bad! You’re gonna need to economize the room in your bladder for more liquid licentiousness. The only mixer you need is more alcohol. If it can’t be used to strip paint from steel, it shouldn’t be in your cup! Just remember, above all: pace yourself.

Tip #3: Pacing Yourself is for Cowards

Pregaming Wendy’s Worner is a race, and only the fit survive. You should be drinking from start to finish–no exceptions. If by the end of the pregame your blood doesn’t have the approximate alcohol content of an aged merlot, then you just don’t have what it takes. Think of Wendy Worner–let her be your green light. Allow her image to keep you going as you down enough liquor to devastate the economy of a small village in southern France.

Tip #4: Pay Your Respects to the Woman of the Hour

Next time you’re pregaming Wendy’s Worner, it’s important to remember the reason for the season: President Worner herself! While you’re pouring liquor down your gullet, don’t forget to pour libations on the floor for our esteemed leader. After all, this pregame is about Her as much as it is about you and your friends having a good time. Wendy Worner is a hero to this college who deserves nothing less than your deepest respect and veneration. In lieu of a 21 gun salute, the least you can do is pour out a bottle of your most expensive Cab-Sav.

Tip #5: Make Plans for the Worner Itself

If you’re still standing at this point, congrats! You’ve made it to the main event! Now all you need to do is make a game plan with your still-conscious friends. The last thing you’d want is to make a drunken fool of yourself in front of the Wendy Worner. You’re gonna want to think of the best way to approach her–you don’t want to be one of the hundred schmucks standing in line trying to get their fifteen minutes of fame with Wendy. Stay back, act cool, and let her approach you. 

Tip #6: Have Fun!

The most important part of any WWPG (Wendy’s Worner Pregame) is having fun. You want to keep a nice, laidback, fun-loving attitude before you let your soul leave your body in the debaucherous bender that is Wendy’s Worner. This ecstasy of hedonistic pleasure comes only once every Friday afternoon, so you don’t want to ruin it with any bad vibes.